


I Almost Died

by PoorUnfortunateSoul



Series: BokuAkaKuro Week 2016 [2]
Category: Hiakyuu!!
Genre: Bad Jokes, Fluff, M/M, over dramatic bokuto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 15:14:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6860254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoorUnfortunateSoul/pseuds/PoorUnfortunateSoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Yes. Do you know what that means?”</p><p>	“Bro, no.”</p><p>	“We have to use-“</p><p>	“If you say it, it becomes real!” Kuroo yelps, covering Bokuto’s mouth. </p><p>	“The microwave,” he mutters, words muffled by Kuroo’s palm.</p><p>-<br/>BokuAkaKuro Week 2016 Day two: Food</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Almost Died

    “Can you please, leave me alone _for two Goddamn minutes, Bokuto!”_ is the first thing Kuroo hears when he walks through the door.

 

     Whistling lowly, he looks pointedly at a dejected looking Bukuto.

 

     “Bro, what’d you do to piss Akaashi off so much?” he asks, squirming his coat off of his shoulders.

 

     “I didn’t do anything!” Bokuto sniffs.

 

     Kuroo snorts and kicks his shoes off.

 

     “I’m sure.”

 

     “Okay, _maybe_ I bothered him when he was trying to write, but I miss him!” Bokuto complains, walking over to Kuroo to slump against him.

 

     Patting his boyfriend’s shoulder reassuringly, Kuroo says, “I do to, bro, but you know the deadline for his book is soon.”

 

     “The deadline has been soon for three weeks,” Bokuto whines, “I just wanted to cuddle for five minutes! But Akaashi kicked me out and you weren’t home.”

 

     “Sorry, I have a life outside of your constant demands for cuddles,” Kuroo teases, moving to the kitchen.

 

     Bokuto follows behind him, pouting.

 

     “Whatever.”

 

     Humming, Kuroo opens the fridge door. “Did you order take out yet?”

 

     “No. We already spent all of the food money Akaashi gave us for his deadline month on pizza.”

 

     “What? No we didn’t,” Kuroo argues.

 

     Bokuto nods his head despairingly. Kuroo looks at him, horrified.

    

     “No.”

 

     “ _Yes._ Do you know what that means?”

 

     “Bro, no.”

    

     “We have to use-“

 

     “If you say it, it becomes real!” Kuroo yelps, covering Bokuto’s mouth.

 

     “The microwave,” he mutters, words muffled by Kuroo’s palm.

 

     Kuroo wails in agony and stumbles back.

 

     “We need Akaashi back!”

 

     “I know, bro, but we gotta do it. We have no money left. We must be brave.”  


     “We could ask Akaashi for more money,” Kuroo offers weakly.

 

     Bokuto grimaces.

 

     “I said we had to be _brave_ , not _stupid._ ”

 

     “Shit, bro, you’re right. I don’t want to die.”

 

     “What’s more likely to kill us, the microwave or Akaashi?”

 

     They stare at each other for a few seconds before they both say, “Akaashi.”

 

     “Alright, let’s do this,” Kuroo says, turning back to the open fridge. “It’s cold.”

 

     “I know, bro, but you gotta be brave,” Bokuto said, resting a hand on Kuroo’s shoulder.

 

Kuroo pulls out the pasta from the back and hands it to Bokuto. He shifts things around in the fridge, looking for something to drink while Bokuto puts the pasta in the microwave.

 

     “How long do I cook it for?” Bokuto asks.

 

     “Shit, bro, I don’t know,” Kuroo says, pulling a jug of chocolate milk from the fridge, “try starting with ten seconds.”

 

     Nodding, Bokuto does just that. They try it after the microwave beeps, and decide that it needs twenty seconds more. Satisfied with that amount of heat, they begin scarfing down their dinner.

 

     Half-way through their leftover feast, Kuroo pauses mid-bite.

 

     “Dude, can you put plastic in the microwave?” he asks.

 

     Boktuto gulps down his current bite and looks at Kuroo with wide eyes.

 

     “Bro, I have no idea.”

 

     “ _Shit_ ,” Kuroo says, reaching for his phone. “Siri, can you put plastic in the microwave?”

 

     “Let me check on that… Here’s what I found on the web for ‘can you put plastic in the microwave.”

 

     “Well?” Bokuto asks nervously.

 

     “One-time use plastic containers — such as yogurt, margarine or sour cream — shouldn't be used in the microwave. Since they're intended just for one time use, they aren't made to be heated. The containers could warp or melt in the microwave, which can release chemicals into your food,” Kuroo reads, “Was it a one time container?”

 

     Bokuto shrugs.

 

     “Check the bottom, does it say it’s microwave safe?”

 

     Bokuto does just that and flashes a thumbs up.

 

     “We’re good!” Bokuto whoops, “Man, I _almost_ died!”     

 

     “Yeah, but you didn’t because it’s im-pasta-bowl to kill you!” Kuroo says with a smirk.

 

     Bokuto wiggles his eyebrows. “Tonight we are victorious.”

 

     “Champagne pouring over us,” Kuroo says.

 

     “All my friends were glorious,” Bokuto continues.

 

      “Tonight we are victorious.”

 

     “Oh-oh-oh-oh, victorious, Oh-oh-oh-oh!” they sing together.

 

     “Double bubble disco queen, headed to the guillotine,” the muffled next line comes from Akaash’s room.

 

     “Hey, hey, hey, Akaashi!” Bokuto yells, running from the kitchen. “Come celebrate with us, we almost _died_ but we didn’t!”

 

     Shaking his head, Kuroo turns back around to finish eating the pasta.

**Author's Note:**

> The song they sing there at the end is Victorious by Panic! at the disco, in case you care.


End file.
